


BANG

by homesicck



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt, ITS 2 AM, M/M, MC - Freeform, Pancakes, bang, hurt or smth, i shot peter parker, shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 11:17:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19829059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homesicck/pseuds/homesicck
Summary: Spidey gets shotDeadpool says owo not today misterA bug gets shot, a deadpool finds him, said bug jumps of building and into local dumpster, deadpool attempts to save bug.i say ive never written anything before but i had a dream abt getting a minecraft bf so im? projecting or... something onto these two fucking nerdsthe title and tags and description will probably/definitely change as time goes on if i keep writing thisIM GONNA BE REWRITING ALL OF THIS WHEN I GET A CHANCEA LOT OF THIS DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE SOGTKLERLMGLSKLMK WHATEVER GIVE ME UR THOUGHTS ON IT REGARDLESS OF THE 900000000000000000 PLOT INCONSISTENCIES





	BANG

**Author's Note:**

> not canon compliant  
> quick rundown though: peter is probably ~20 wade is... how ever old he is   
> peter probbbbbbably got his powers a little older, maybe 16ish?  
> flash is a dick and we all hate him  
> skip is also a dick but idk if im gonna shove him in here (i probably/definitely will just... not for now)  
> god how do you guys write im struggling lowkey rn everything feels so slightly off and i feel like im not really writing the characters right

BANG

He was shot.

THWIP

He flung his way onto a rooftop, pain nearly doubling from the action, if he was going to bleed out he didn't want an unsuspecting pedestrian to see it (Ignoring the fact that eventually someone would find him dead up there as well).

CLUNK 

His spidey sense went up in flames, he try to twist himself around to see what (who?) landed on the roof, his vision blurred and shook around, turns out a bullet your stomach wasn't the easiest thing to web off.

He tried to keep himself up he really did, he could only last so long though, his body was screaming at him _rest peter, it'll be ok in the morning_ nothing would change, he reprimanded himself, May wasn't there to care for him anymore, he had no food, no friends to turn to, no place to call home... He was alone in every meaning of the word. No one would help him, no one he was all on his own.

"WEBS?"

He heard a voice call out to him, he didn't know who it was but they seemed to at least recognize him, unsure if this was good or bad he stood up and endured the pain jumping off the ledge and, hopefully, into a dumpster. He promptly passed out but not before realizing what a shit idea that was I mean _really peter? Did you have to jump off the roof? Could you not have just... use your words?_

The man that called out his alter-egos name looked over the side of the building he had jumped off in shock and horror, he knew he wasn't the most pleasant person to be around but jumping off a building seemed a bit much to him. He too proceeded to jump off the building, _No, White we're not just gonna let Spidey die in a literal dumpster._ He lightly slapped Spider-Man's masked face a couple times to see if he could wake him up, he was still very much passed out. The man slung Spider-Man over his shoulder being cautious with the open wound but was more focused on hauling his ass back to his safe house to patch up the itsy bitsy spider over anything else. Speed over comfort, maybe not the best motto in this specific scenario but he was gonna stick to it regardless. 

CRACK

He smashed his door in, there was a spider bleeding out on his shoulder there's no time for locks!!! This was urgent!!! No time god damn it!!! The voices in the mans head were telling him to drop the man, he should've left him long ago, should've never landed on that rooftop, what are you trying to gain from this Wade, hes not going to want to be your friend regardless of if you save his life or let him die. The man... Wade was trying his best to ignore him, if Spider-Man didn't like him after... well at least he can say he tried more then most people he supposed. He laid the web-head on the couch after clearing it off scrambling to get the first aid kit, he wasn't the best at doctor-ing he used to be better at it but when it but the need sort of faded away after he turned into an ugly avocado that got hate fucked by another uglier avocado. Back on track, he tried to relive his days being a Ryan Reynolds look alike he moved as swiftly and as carefully as he could while patching the spider up, positive that he'd be able to make it through but wondering over how he got to the point of nearly dying from a gunshot on a roof. He seriously needed to take some karate lessons and a first aid kit or something, learn how to protect himself better. He got up from his spot dutifully patching up the spider and went to make some pancakes, nothing better then pancakes after- THERE WAS NO FLOUR? Wade fell to the floor in complete and utter despair, how would he make pancakes with no flour, why god, what did I do wrong, is this what I deserve for patching up bubble butt? Its not fair how will I live on without my 'cakes man... Wade picked himself off the floor and marched out the door, he was gonna make pancakes god like it or not, no god stood in his way he was Deadpool! DEADPOOL!!! Nothing stands in the way of Deadpool (aside from having no flour and a certain arachnid) nothing had happened in the time it took him to come back, he was grateful for that, waking up in a place you don't know is never a fun experience. If Deadpool was there at least there'd be something familiar about it, White's statement did make sense though, Deadpool himself was pretty sure he wouldn't like waking up to himself, Spider-Man was good. He likes us- for now. The man in the panda mask couldn't've imagined them becoming friends much less staying friends but Spidey didn't immediately push him away and he'd take that over nothing. The pancakes he made were always amazing, in his eyes at least, he wondered if Webs would like his pancakes, he saved some of the left over batter it would be going to good use one way or another, his eyes wandered over to Spider-Man, it had been a while since they got to the apartment, he should be waking up any second now.

SWOOSH 

Within seconds of saying that he saw the spider clad man jump up and cling to the ceiling of his run down safe house. They stared at each other through the whites of their equally red mask. Spidey spoke out first, short, harsh, and out of breath, he croaked out. "Who are you, what did you do to me, where am I?" 

"Not gonna ask when, why, and how? C'mon Spides its the 5 W's and one H not... 3 W's and a spider. I'm Deadpool, patched you up, and one of my safe houses. Could you get off my roof? I fucking doubt cleaning your blood off it is gonna be easy." Deadpool said pointedly, Spider-Man dropped himself off the ceiling clutching his wound and wincing in pain when he didn't quite stick the landing. "You want some pancakes?" 

Spider-Man squinted at the masked man standing in front of him, "Only if they're not poisoned?" _Stupid peter why would he tell you they're poisoned?_ "You got any super pain meds? Or anything I could use to stop feeling right about now?" Deadpool halted for a moment standing frozen, not sure what he was expecting but Spider-Man asking him if his pancakes were poisoned wasn't on the list. "Pancakes are too good to fuck up with poison Baby Boy, and yeah you can give these a try." Wade through a bottle of pills at the spider whipping up more then a couple pancakes for him and slapping them onto the one intact plate he had. "You want syrup?!" He yelled across the safehouse not knowing his guest had super sensitive hearing along with sticky hands. "God Asspool can you not be so loud? And I was on your ceiling not your roof- fuck sorry I didn't mean to call you Asspool I'm so sorry-" Spider-Man was abruptly cut off by a loud boisterous laugh coming from the other side of the house. "Its okay kid sorry for yelling, how're the pancakes?" Spidey figured he'd let Deadpool calling him a kid slide since he did just call the other man Asspool, don't think hes ever gonna live that one down 

**Author's Note:**

> there are  
> 500 fucking plot holes and its half written bc i realized this halfway through writing it so : ))) but like  
> idk its my first real time writing and its 12-2 am so thats my excuse whats urs?


End file.
